The Onion pays poorly

How do I know this? Well I don’t but I have come to this conclusion through my horoscope. Follow me for a moment.

First let me say that I don’t really believe in the whole astrology/horoscope thing. I read my horoscope mainly for entertainment and just to see if they got it right that day. It is sort of like playing the lottery in reverse. At the end of the day I see if the horoscope writer hit the jackpot in describing my life. It would not matter if there was a payout because quite frankly they usually get it wrong anyway.

So what does this have to do with The Onion? Well I love reading The Onion and especially their horoscopes. I find them quite amusing and very off beat. Lately I have noticed that Yahoo’s horoscopes have started to become more and more like The Onion’s horoscopes. My conclusion is that The Onion does not pay well so the writer of horoscopes for The Onion is moonlighting for Yahoo. I figure they started off with the tame basic guesses and are slowly loosening up. Maybe their bosses have stopped watching them so carefully. Who knows, but they definitely are getting better.

Today’s horoscope....
“One of your many specialties is the delicate art of persuasion. You can talk just about anyone into just about anything -- the only prerequisite is that they're still breathing. So now, when you're feeling the need to communicate something important to someone equally as important, there's really no way for you to fail. Unless, of course, they leave the vicinity -- or can hold their breath for a very long time.”

Who knows, maybe this was my big announcement.